This page contains information of a mature and sensitive nature.
Personal objectives
As a submissive/slave, my objective is to continue in service fueled by sincere enthusiasm and passion with a focus on an increase in personal excellence.
As a dedicated member of the greater lifestyle community, my objective is to guard, honor, maintain and share, acting as a steward in good standing.
I hope to one day work full-time in the lifestyle “field” and am open to exploring possibilities. #manifestit
Personal motto/slogan
“I am becoming what I am to be.” – my long-held motto since my earliest days in the lifestyle, now updated after many years. I value expertise & lived experience in the lifestyle, and I also value growth. I am a proponent of learning, adjusting and growing. My journey in the lifestyle is happily ongoing… always a work in progress, and I am forever a student.
Lifestyle foci
- Protection of core and foundational values of BDSM
- Expression of and maintaining submissive self-worth
- Fantasy vs real life practical application of PEAT (Power Exchange & Authority Transfer)
- Maintaining and increasing personal value in PEAT via continued study
- POC in the lifestyle: visibility, prominence, acceptance and normality
Skillset
In no particular order:
- Japanese bondage – Kinbaku (Shibari)
- Practice bottom and rope bottom
- Topping (including erotic humiliation, watersports, objectification and choking)
- Fire cupping (giving), fire wand making
- Scene preparation (tool/toy placement, hardware, room arrangement, lighting, sounds, scents)
- Post-scene wrap up (cleaning up, returning living conditions to “normal”)
- Protocol levels – low/casual to high/formal
- Presentations (IRL & virtual), mentorship and lifestyle guidance
- Event & small group management (munches, demos, socials)
- Tool/toy handling – procurement, cleaning, maintenance, proper layout, storage (including rope bundling)
- Creation of new tools and toys, plus tool/toy improvement via upcycling, recycling and remaking
- Written contracts (including formal petitions for service and ownership)
- Meal and drink service (from tea to libation)
- Formal cigar service
- Personal assistance and management
Experience
I have engaged in the lifestyle — minimally — in the following roles: service submissive (domesticity, comfort, support, etc.), sensual/sexual submissive, sensual bottom, painslut masochist, demo bottom (rope, etc.), practice bottom (impact play, etc.), contractual slave (9 years and 1 year), property and even (rarely as a) switch (lite top, Humiliatrix style). I have experience in serving in low, medium and high protocol capacities, in polyships, as well as 24/7, long-distance and live-in D/s dynamics.
Having lived this lifestyle for over 20 years, and having had the privilege of experiencing a variety of partnership and relationship styles, and having grown as a human, a woman, a mother, a partner and a friend, I am well-versed in my submission, what it means to me personally, and how it’s represented in my life. (Of note, this also means I can provide a potential partner with a clear outline of the type of submissive I am, and in what ways I tend to serve best.)
Activities
Below is a non-exhaustive list of activities in which I have directly participated (if it’s on this list, I have done it or had it done). NOTE: This is not necessarily my “kink list” — meaning a list of things I prefer to do or have done. It’s a list of experiences, although I definitely have my favorites mixed within.
In no particular order:
- Impact play with implements including, but definitely not limited to: floggers, canes (rattan, bamboo, acrylic, Delrin, nylon), crops, paddles (leather, wooden, rubber, etc.), whips (bull, Dragon tail, Dragon tongue, signal, etc.), belts, straps
- Impact play with the hands, specifically spanking and slapping (ass, thighs, pussy)
- Bondage, light to heavy (rope, chain, bondage tape, clothing, wrist/ankle/thigh/thumb cuffs, bed systems, door systems, spreader bars, etc.)
- Predicament bondage
- Hair bondage
- Hair pulling
- Collar and leash
- Crawling (on command, via pulling, etc.)
- Orgasm control – by force and/or denial, including edging (via voice, touch, magic wand, etc)
- Sensory deprivation (sight, touch, hearing via masks, music, etc.)
- Anal/ass play
- Anal hook
- Body worship (including hands & feet, massages)
- Humiliation, erotic humiliation
- Fisting (vaginal)
- Slapping (face and body)
- Choking and various other forms of breath play
- Bastinado
- Biting (being bitten)
- Gags (bit, rope, cloth, ball, bondage tape)
- Hoods (open-face & full head)
- Collars (formal, casual and play; leather, chain, chrome and cloth)
- Tails (full buttplug fox tail, short and extended wear times)
- Terror play including knife play, water play (waterboarding, showering), interrogations, etc.
- Sensation play (electroplay), including: Violet wand, Twilight wand, TENS unit, fly zapper
- Sensation play (sharps), including: Wartenberg wheel, metal claws, Vampire gloves, knives/swords
- Sensation play (temperature), including: hot wax, figging, ice (including ice dildo making and usage), spicy/stinging rubs, essential oils, fire play
- Fire: fire cupping (topping and bottoming), fire/heat massage, fire tapping, making of fire wands, scene safety
- Resistance play/FSRP (forced sex role-play aka rape play)
- Role-play – eg, rough play as currency scene, etc; animal role-play (puppy play, including collar & leash, dog bowl, bone toy)
- Functional objectification (use as various types of furniture, etc.)
- Sexual objectification (used as a sexual being)
- Discipline & punishment (and funishment)
- Escapism and rope eel
- Prostate massage & milking
- Bootblacking
- Shaving (head/face/pubes), foot care & other intimate body care
- Clamps (including clover, nipple-to-clit, clothespins, chopsticks, etc.)
- Marking – temporary such as bruising to longer-lasting like scarification (cellpopping, specifically)
- GS/WS (golden showers/watersports – taste, touch, smell)
- Bladder/bathroom denial & control
- Multiples (sexual) – threesomes (3 MMF, 2 MFF)
- Multiples (S&M) – co-topping, receiving (from commands to impact play – dual flogging, etc. – to sexual acts)
- Multiples (S&M) – co-topping, giving (topping assistance)
- Submissive/slave positions – formal and informal
- Negotiations
- Pre-dynamic vetting
- Anonymous play
- 50’s style household
- Adult toys (suction bulb, insertables, etc.)
- Pervertibles (sometimes spelled ‘pervertables’)
- Large furniture (St. Andrew’s cross, wooden pony, stockade, spanking bench, kneeling bench, massage table, etc.)
- Suspension (ceiling hook/overhead systems)
- Voyeurism & exhibitionism
- Public play within the scope of kink (dungeons, play parties, videoing)
- Pictures and video production (scene capturing)
- Meal and drink service
- Formal cigar service
- Verbal commands
- Physical commands (motion, signal, hand)
- Written commands
- Journaling (kink-related like scene retelling, task completion, etc.)
- Furniture privileges (privilege of furniture use and use of other conveniences)
- Witnessed pony play (complete pony girl show)
Lifestyle identity
- Woman (she/her)
- s-type: submissive, slave, bottom, bratty (playful) SAM
- Leatherwoman
- Masochist – decently heavy
- Primal, /prey
- Top (lite, ~5% Humiliatrix)
- Rope bunny, Escapist extraordinaire/eel
- Exhibitionist & voyeur
- Heteroflexible, pansexual
- Polyadventurous
- Presenter, mentor, educator, partner, friend
Neologism
I coined the term “v-type” (a vanilla, non-kinky person) (2013).
I coined the term “inkspace” (similar to subspace, the emotional high during & post tattoo work, typically before the onset of tattoo flu) (2015).
I coined the term “exposure play” (commanded exposure with risk of being caught) (2015).
I coined the term “Downward-facing Dom” (a play on the yoga pose term) (2015).
I created the consent model of LEA — lucid, enthusiastic, affirmative (March 2018).
Hard limits
The Big 4.. 5.. 6
- kids – Pedophilia and beyond, or any involvement of actual minors — which for me means 18 and below (and above, as my comfort level allows), notwithstanding any regional legal age of consent.
- necro* – Necro-“anything”, specifically necrophilia, but any activities involving anything remotely dead.
- showers – specifically brown (scat) and Roman.
- animals – …and any other non-consenting living beings.
- spiders – This one is so big, it should be listed first, and I require full compliance regarding this limit.
- tickling – More than a simple dislike, this action may result in a violent reaction.
THE UNDERSTOOD:
It seems some things shouldn’t need to be spoken, and I would hope anyone I deal with brings some of the same basic understanding to the table. I have yet to run into these issues and hope never to in the future. Activities that result in any of the following (for me OR for others) are, for obvious reasons, off limits:- criminal liability
- serious and/or permanent injury (whether physical, psychological or other)
- death
Agreed, and Amen
Wishlist
- Florentine fire flogging
- Needle play
- Nitrogen play
AKA...
